Watching a partner struggle with their mental health can be heartbreaking. It’s not only difficult to see someone you love in pain, but it can also strain your relationship. The truth is, mental health challenges are incredibly common—nearly half of Americans will experience a mental illness at some point in their lives.
If your partner is going through a tough time, you might feel unsure about how to help. The good news? You don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes, just being there and showing up in small, meaningful ways can make a world of difference. Here are 11 thoughtful ways to support your partner when they’re struggling:
1. Don’t Ignore It
Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. In fact, it can make your partner feel even more isolated. Acknowledge what they’re going through and let them know you’re there for them. Starting the conversation is the first step toward showing your support.
2. Start the Conversation Gently
When you bring up their mental health, approach the topic with care. Use gentle, open-ended questions like:
“I’ve been thinking about you—how are you feeling?”
“I care about you and want to support you. Is there anything specific I can do to help?”
This creates a safe space for them to share without feeling pressured.
3. Avoid Toxic Positivity
Telling someone to “just be positive” or “look on the bright side” can do more harm than good. It can make them feel dismissed or ashamed of their struggles. Instead, let them know it’s okay to feel whatever they’re feeling—even if it’s not positive.
4. Hold Back on Unsolicited Advice
It’s natural to want to fix things, but offering advice when it’s not asked for can feel patronizing. Instead, focus on listening and validating their feelings. Sometimes, they just need someone to hear them out, not someone to solve their problems.
5. Don’t Threaten or Give Ultimatums
Mental health struggles can put a strain on relationships, but threatening to leave or giving ultimatums (“Cheer up, or else…”) will only make things worse. Be patient and remind them that you’re in this together, no matter how tough things get.
6. Ask How They Want to Be Supported
Everyone copes differently. Some people might want quiet companionship, while others might appreciate more active support. Ask your partner directly: “How can I best support you right now?” This shows you care about their needs and respect their boundaries.
7. Validate Their Feelings
Let your partner know their feelings are valid and understandable. Phrases like, “It makes sense that you feel this way,” or “I can see how hard this is for you,” can help them feel seen and heard. Validation is a powerful way to show empathy.
8. Practice Empathy
Try to put yourself in their shoes. Empathy isn’t about fixing their problems—it’s about understanding their experience and showing compassion. Even if you haven’t been through the same thing, you can still say, “I’m here for you, and I want to understand what you’re going through.”
9. Be Vulnerable Yourself
Sometimes, opening up about your own struggles can encourage your partner to do the same. Share your feelings in a way that’s honest but not overwhelming. This can help them feel less alone and more comfortable sharing their own emotions.
10. Plan Enjoyable Activities Together
Mental health struggles can make it hard to enjoy things, but gentle encouragement to do something fun can help. Suggest low-pressure activities like a walk in nature, a movie night, or cooking a meal together. If they’re not up for it, don’t push—just let them know the option is there.
11. Know Your Limits
While your support is invaluable, you’re not their therapist. Encourage them to seek professional help if they haven’t already, whether that’s therapy, counseling, or a support group. Setting boundaries is important for your own well-being and the health of your relationship.
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